Since my show, I’ve put on roughly 7 pounds. This doesn’t seem like that much, but it’s certainly not something I’m proud of. I can tell in both how I look and how I feel that the weight I’ve put on has not been the right weight. It’s probably mostly water, but I’m sure there’s more than a little bit of fat too. As much as I’ve enjoyed the past few months, I don’t think this can be my lifestyle. I’ve been attempting a mini “bulking season” but honestly I’m so uncomfortable with myself that I can’t keep going with this. In order to feel confident, I need to be lean, even if it takes a whole lot longer to put muscle on by doing it that way.
My New Year’s resolution is to start cutting again. Nothing intense or restrictive, but just something to make myself feel comfortable and proud again. But this “New Year’s” resolution doesn’t actually start today. It starts on January 7th when I go back to school. Right now, I’m still on break, and I’m going to enjoy it. I won’t go too crazy, but I’m also not going to change my calories yet. I will still be 100% consistent and as accurate as I can until then, just not as restrictive. But on that day, it’s on. I may just limit my calories, or stop counting those from exercise, or I might change the way I’m tracking my food (grams of macronutrients instead of calories and percents). We’ll see when the time comes and I’ll experiment a little bit until I find something sustainable that I’m happy with. Yesterday was not a good food day. I went out for brunch, and then had a high-calorie, fatty dinner. Instead of stopping eating, I figured, “It’s New Year’s Eve” and kept going by munching (which I could not accurately track). I also didn’t work out. But you know what, that’s one day. The fact that going out of my net calories or straying this far from my macros is a rare occasion shows that I haven’t totally gone off the rails. And there’s no way I will let myself get there. Another goal for the year: go easy on myself. I hold myself to really high expectations that are almost impossible to meet. I try as hard as I can, but perfection isn’t always possible. I need to learn how to not feel guilty for things that don’t even really matter. Going along with that, I need to learn to stress less. It’s not good for my mind or my body, and it only hinders my progress in the end. When setting your New Year's resolutions, I suggest trying to find things that will make a difference in your life, but that are also do-able. The more you feel like you can accomplish your goals, the more likely they are to get done. Take it one step at a time, pushing yourself just a little bit further until you get to where you want to be. Happy New Year, guys, see you in 2019! -Hannah :)
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AuthorMy name is Hannah Lehrfeld and I am a high school student with a strong passion for fitness. Archives
January 2019
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